King Neptune’s Court

King Neptune’s Court

This ceremony goes back many, many years to when ships first started crossing the Equator and involves all those who have not previously crossed the Equator by sea, or have no appropriate certificate to prove their crossing. They are required to go before the Court of Neptune, where their sins are read out, and the punishments bestowed. It is of course a solemn and serious occasion onboard the ship, and usually involves a barbecue in the evening!!

A typical Court hearing might run like this:

On the arrival of King Neptune and his wife, Queen Nefertiti, at the Court, all those uninitiated victims are requested to report to the Court. Unfortunately many people immediately hide to try to avoid the inevitable. The police force, armed with batons (made of foam), are deployed to search the ship and escort any of the victims back to face the Judge.

Upon arrival at the Court, the victim is required to kneel before the King and kiss his “Kipper”, after which the charges are read out and the defendant pleads “guilty” or “not guilty”. Their response is supposed to affect the outcome ( i.e. their punishments), however despite their plea the result is still a horrific barrage of punishments.

These may include a few general ones handed out to the many, such as:

  • Taking the Doctor’s medicine
  • Getting covered in slop – a foul green mixture of unknown ingredients
  • Having a hair cut and shave from the “experienced” barber